There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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