I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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