I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
