Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
