New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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