Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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