girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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