Im at strip club and am horny
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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