Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
