Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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