Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
sex in a hospital.. check
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
