if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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