if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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