Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
