If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
