Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
