I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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