She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
