just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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