morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
