It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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