so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
