Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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