mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
