Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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