Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
