hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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