I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
