No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
