I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
