I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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