He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
