He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
