And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
