can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
