I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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