bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
