Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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