New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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