I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Don't make out with my wife yet
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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