she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
