This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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