Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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