chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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