Where are you?
In a non slutty way
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
