She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize