I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
