i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
