There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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