Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
